Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
