I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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