Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
