Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
