Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
