Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
