There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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