he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
