You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
