Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
