you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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