Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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