i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
