i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
