READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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