Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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