i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I want her autograph on my taint
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
