You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
