no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
