it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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