I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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