I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
