i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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