I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
