She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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