She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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