If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do vagina's smell?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
