Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
