Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
