It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
