There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
