Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
