I am full of burrito and curiosity
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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