I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
