How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
