Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
