Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
