we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
