Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
