arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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