What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
