We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize