in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
