New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
