Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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