"it" just moved
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
