I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
