It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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