Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize