i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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