True but thats because hes a fetus.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
