it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
