3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
At least make sure they are 18
Why
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
