Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
