I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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