Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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