I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm just crazy horny about you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
