She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
