I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
