I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
