in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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