Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
