Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
