He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
