Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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