We're facebook friends in real life
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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