D3 body, D1 cock
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I would ride that face into the sunset
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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