we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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