No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
