Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
