is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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