last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
